On Marriage

Like a million other things, I’m a product Made in China.  However, unlike half of my brethren, I was exported to USA – just like the other half.   So the past 5 months of my life in China has been… ya know, very typically different from your typical laowai, but in a way, I was embraced back…typically a little differently from those returning turtles (returning Chinese students from studying abroad).

The minute I landed here, this was first reaction from everyone,



And it wasn’t just from my grandma or my uncle, it’s also my aunt, my third grand uncle, my fourth great grand uncle’s neighbor’s friend….all of those people and their mother – if they are still alive, or their own minions around them.   My ear was rang deaf….

and their conclusion for me was two tiered:

1. that I should have gotten married 5 years ago

2. that I shouldn’t have broke up with my ex-boyfriend, or the ex before that, or the ex before that….

all in all, I was WRONG…………

My life is going to be miserable in China, OH, SO UNFORTUNATE!

Maybe I’m taking this a little differently, but isn’t Chinese only allowed to have one child?  So in that case, what’s the hurry get married at 18?  Be a grandparent at a tender age of 36?  Or is it somehow people still believed that you cannot breed minions after you are 30…

And frankly, yes I’m selfish.  Being grandma involves passing around tons of hongbao (red holiday money pocket for kids)…..

Actually I want to keep those hongbao money for my cosmetics at age 40.  I mean at age 40, I won’t look like I’m 22.  I mean, when I was 22, I’m not stunning enough to hook up with Clinton, but ya know….  So at age 40, I still have a shot to look prettier – only with cosmetics….